C O L U M N S

Tales from the Jugular

Whooya Talkin' 'Bout Answers

By: Eric Compton
Published: Saturday, April 28, 2007
The debut issue for our Whooya Talkin' Bout had a ton of feedback from our Maximum Metal readers. With that being said we wanted to go ahead and shoot out the culprit's behind last issue's quotes.

Cheers!

Note - Anyone remotely disturbed by late night Showtime, Comedy Central, or Frank Hill's rants and raves after being rejected by yet another bimbo....well simply look no further.

------------

1. "And to Dave Richards of Azra, for blatantly lying to us, not using our cover artwork and insert, running up our lawyer bill and jerking us around for seven months with our EP, may you get butt-fucked by a rhino with AIDS."

Overkill addressing Dave Richards of Azra in the liner notes for "Feel The Fire".

2. "Die painful and burn in Hell to" S. Logiodice/W. Schunke/Axel Morgan/K. Boesel, a real big bunch of motherfucking assholes".

German metalers Unrest addressing what I think is either Running Wild or X-Wild in liner notes for "Watch Out".

3. "Fuck you to Biff Byford and his Pong."

Morgana Lefay calling out Saxon's vocalist in the liner notes for "The Secret Doctrine".

4. "Special thanx to Barney for capturing the hearts of the children."

Trey Azagthoth in liner notes for Morbid Angel's "Covenant".

5. "...thanks goes to God, for giving to me this eternal hate against his concept and against his worshipers."

Samael's Vorpholak addressing the Christians in "Ceremony Of Opposites".

6. Hello Dudes: "......Eternity-X (R.I.P...Fuck me, Jamie, fuck me - the last edgay colon cowboy)".

Edguy vocalist Tobias addressing Eternity-X in liner notes for "Theatre Of Salvation".

7. "Joey Capobianco sucks fat dicks"

Your guess is as good as mine.

8. "And let me swing the big fucking sledgehammer through the skulls of all stoner rock faggots, gothic queers, black metal dorks, teeny bopper pussies, rapper jackasses, and most of all you cheesy heavy metal trendies!"

King Fowley addressing posers on October 31's "Meet Thy Maker".

9. "...and most importantly to all of the bands who made millions from pirating our work, our creativity and our artistry while we were in Japan, we say shame on you and prepare to be embarrassed and humbled by the mighty ______!!!"

Heavy metal kings Fozzy on liner notes for their self-titled debut.

10. "...Tom, "if it wasn't for me there'd be no band, you wouldn't have a girlfriend, my cap, I got a cat, a dog, a bat, a rat, and a knife, I'll kill you, Kiss rules, Moooo Hoohoohahaha" Browne.

Anthrax on liner notes for "Among The Living".




[Other Maximum Metal Columns]

<< back >>





RANDOM ACTS OF METAL
. Hate Eternal. LA Guns
. Opeth. Vehemence
. Carpathian Forest. Misery Index
. Solemnity. Narziß
. Stratovarius. Symphorce
. Machine Head. Celestial Ode
. Queensryche. Vaginal Carnage
. Sickspeed. Crematorium
. Black Label Society. Carnal Forge
. Pyn Siren. Exawatt
. Nicta. Chainsnap
. Wycked Synn. Mourning Beloveth
. Steel Preacher. Dream Weaver
. Crystal Eyes. Axenstar
. Thunderstone. Hypocrisy
. Slayer. Fraise
. Defiled. Probot
. Iron Savior. Dew Scented
. Black Stone Cherry. Superchrist
. Evanescence. Bang The Union
. UFO. Kingcrow
. Disarmonia Mundi. Gary Moore
. Judas Priest. Black Zodiac
. Schenker/ Pattison Summit. Devil In The Kitchen
. Joe Lynn Turner. Unleashed
. Imp. Psychotron
. Shadows Fall. Beaten Back To Pure
. Dark Age. Tearabyte
. Nashville Pussy. Annihilator
. Overlorde. Blind Guardian
. Karmakanic. Cryme
. John Oliva's Pain. Feared Creation
. The Mighty Nimbus. Lost Soul
. Maze Of Torment. Quiet Riot
. Labyrinth. Hibria
. Sabaton. Tarot
. Carina Alfie. Crimson Moonlight
. Antares. Severe Torture
. Axis Of Perdition. Debris Inc.
. Callenish Circle. Embraze
. God Among Insects. Darkane
. Unchained. Evemaster
. The Father Panic Riot Orchestra. Alice Cooper
. Cannon. Devil Lee Rot
. Clutch. Iron Maidens
. Nuclear Assault. The Atomic Bitchwax
. Crystal Fate. Blood Thirsty Demons
. The Firstborn. The Absence
. Mistress. Crystal Ball
. Dreamland. Dragonlord
. Motorhead. Virgin Steele
. Beecher. Insense
. Naked Beggars. Upwards of Endtime
. Fields Of The Nephilim. Degree Absolute
. The Ocean. Manngard
. The Smackdown. Speed/Kill/Hate
. Dreams of Damnation. Abysmal Dawn
. Non-Human Level. Sun Descends
. Michael Orlando. Fragments of Unbecoming
. Dendura. Ynis Vitrin
. Shadows Within. Vicious Rumors
. Skyforger. Semargl
. Teeth of the Hydra. Audrey Horne
. Escape The Fate. Extium
. Deicide. Better Left Unsaid
. Steve Cone. Handful of Hate
. Warmachine. Stonegard
. In This Moment. Nagelfar
. White Willow. Mendeed
. Katrina Johansson. Antigama
. Kruger. The Wonderfools
. Faith And Fire. Keep of Kalessin
. Hell N' Diesel. Heresi
. Pathology. Deceiver
. Mortiis. To-Mera
. Armory. Virgin Black
. Celestia. Uriah Heep
. Kiuas. Son of Eric
. End of Man. Place Of Skulls