Rod T. comin' at ya live! I'm making a very special guest appearance over here on the
Tales side to bring you another heapin' helpin' of listmania! This time it's the Top 25
worst damn album titles. We've all seen it before. You are browsing the local metal
section of your store and you spot that album. You say to yourself, why in the Hell did
they name a record that. I've been there before, many many times, prompting me to make a
list of the worst album titles I've seen in the metal industry thus far. Many of you have
read EC's "Listmania" before, ranging from "Top Christian Metal
Albums" to "Vinyl That Needs Released On Disc". I thought it would be a
great addition to Maximum Metal to add my own list of titles, those crazy metal releases
that just leave you asking WHY baby WHY?
Let me speak on this......roll it!
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25. DEZIRE - A Rock Band Named Dezire (There has to be something you can come up
with...Dezire....I Dezire....Dezire Me)
24. BONED - Up At The Crack (Obviously intended humor...should have went Boned - Up At The
Crack Of Dawn's Ass)
23. KARO - Heavy Birthday
22. AXEWITCH - Hooked On High Heels
21. NOISEHUNTER - Spell Of Noise
20. VICTORY - You Bought It, You Name It
19. AFTERWORLD - Connecting Animals
18. ROXXI - Drive It To Ya Hard! (You can pretty much insert any glam album title here)
17. OVERDOSE - You're Really Big (Clever)
16. KPP - Fist To Crush Your Teeth, Axe To Crush Your Skull (3 Inches Of Blood....it is
too late to grab this title)
15. PAIN OF SALVATION - One Hour By The Concrete Lake
14. OTHYRWORLD - Beyond Into The Night Of Day (WTF!)
13. CLUTCH - The Elephant Riders (Fly Dumbo Fly Damnit!)
12. ENGLISH DOGS - Invasion Of The Porky Men
11. ROYAL HUNT - Paper Blood (How about Paper Cut = Blood)
10. FLESHCRAWL - As Blood Reigns From The Sky We Walk The Path Of Endless Fire (I want to
hear Beavis say that)
9. PRETTY MAIDS - In Santa's Claws
8. KING'S X - Please Come Home Mr. Bulbous (Please don't!)
7. GHOSTORM - Frozen In Fire (Huh?)
6. ANVIL - Backwaxed
5. BATTAGIA - Cockroach Meat (Taste like Spam!)
4. RUNNING WILD - Under Jolly Roger (Images of Frank Hill pinned down on a prison cot)
3. WOLFSBANE - All Hell's Breaking Loose Down At Little Kathy Wilson's Place
2. HELLOWEEN - Pink Bubbles Go Ape (This reminds me of that old cartoon Grape Ape)
1. FREEDOM CALL - Stairway To Fairyland (Possibly the soundtrack for Will & Grace)
Honorable Mention:
Godsmack - IV (That would be all good if it were their forth CD, but it is their 6th).
Pariah - To Mock A Killingbird
The Duke - My Kung-Fu Is Good
A.F.I. - Answer That and Stay Fashionable
Loudness; The Birthday Eve
Loudness: Law of Devil's Land
Brats: 1980 Brats (talk about dated!)
HammerFall: Crimson Thunder (Dumb. You can't SEE thunder!)
Picture: Heavy Metal Ears
Picture: Every Story Needs Another Picture
Vow Wow: Beat of Metal Motion
Guns and Roses: The Spaghetti Incident
Headhunter: A Bizarre Gardening Accident
Black Mail: A Female Impersonator
Helloween: Rabbit Don't Come Easy
Strange Sects: Hair's Lookin' At Ya
Warrior Soul: Chill Pill (dated silly lingo)