Navigate: main >> columns >> tales


Tales From the Jugular

This actually going to be my first entry of "Whooya Talkin' 'Bout". What am I talkin' 'bout and what is "Whooya Talkin' 'Bout"? Its simple really. I'm playing a little game of who said that. Over the years I've always enjoyed reading the liner notes and band musings inside record releases. You can really read some over the top craziness when browsing through the thank yous and the f@@@ yous of a liner note. So I thought it would be a fantastic idea to put those in a question format and allow our beloved readers to ponder who or what band said these outrageous quotes. Next issue we will answer the questions, name the pottymouth, and give you a few more explicits to look over.

Note - Anyone remotely disturbed by late night Showtime, Comedy Central, or Frank Hill's rants and raves after being rejected by yet another bimbo....well simply look no further.

1. "And to Dave Richards of Azra, for blatantly lying to us, not using our cover artwork and insert, running up our lawyer bill and jerking us around for seven months with our EP, may you get butt-fucked by a rhino with AIDS."

2. "Die painful and burn in Hell to" S. Logiodice/W. Schunke/Axel Morgan/K. Boesel, a real big bunch of motherfucking assholes".

3. "Fuck you to Biff Byford and his Pong."

4. "Special thanx to Barney for capturing the hearts of the children."

5. "...thanks goes to God, for giving to me this eternal hate against his concept and against his worshipers."

6. Hello Dudes: "......Eternity-X (R.I.P...Fuck me, Jamie, fuck me - the last edgay colon cowboy)".

7. "Joey Capobianco sucks fat dicks"

8. "And let me swing the big fucking sledgehammer through the skulls of all stoner rock faggots, gothic queers, black metal dorks, teeny bopper pussies, rapper jackasses, and most of all you cheesy heavy metal trendies!"

9. "...and most importantly to all of the bands who made millions from pirating our work, our creativity and our artistry while we were in Japan, we say shame on you and prepare to be embarrassed and humbled by the mighty ______!!!"

10. "...Tom, "if it wasn't for me there'd be no band, you wouldn't have a girlfriend, my cap, I got a cat, a dog, a bat, a rat, and a knife, I'll kill you, Kiss rules, Moooo Hoohoohahaha" Browne.


Other Maximum Metal Columns

<< back >>

. Into Eternity. Leng Tch'e
. Lost Horizon. The Great Deceiver
. Chaingunn. Carpathian Forest
. Anthrax. Impellitteri
. Goatwhore. Celestial Ode
. Solace. Queensryche
. Seether. Fozzy
. Abigor. October 31
. Black Sabbath. Iced Earth
. Paragon. Wycked Synn
. Mourning Beloveth. Savatage
. Tad Morose. Silent Scythe
. Hypocrisy. Whitesnake
. Dreamaker. Fear Factory
. Three Inches of Blood. Node
. Shiva. Killik
. Superchrist. Cryonic Temple
. Devil To Pay. Exodus
. UFO. Leash Law
. David Shankle Group. Juggernott
. Ungodly. Killswitch Engage
. Rhapsody of Fire. Potential Threat SF
. Medusa. Valume Nob
. Marshall Law. Ironhorse
. Avenue F. Cryme
. Creed. Azrael's Bane
. The New Breed. Necrophagia
. Darkthrone. Oathean
. Bleed The Sky. Omegalord
. Frantic Bleep. Axel Rudi Pell
. Chastain. Kryoburn
. Ignitor. Fastkill
. Grand Magus. Slumber
. Disbelief. Python
. Vicious Art. Communic
. Ritual Killer. Dam
. Devil Lee Rot. Havochate
. Scar Symmetry. Peccatum
. V:28. Before The Dawn
. Crystal Fate. The Firstborn
. Barcode. Algol3
. Avenged Sevenfold. Ewigkeit
. Vinterriket. Infliction
. Define Divine. Chain Collector
. God Forbid. Absolution
. Absu. Insense
. From This Day. Craft
. Pile of Heads. Upwards of Endtime
. Daylight Dies. Steep
. Cryptopsy. Speed/Kill/Hate
. The Sword. The Strongest Proof
. Apiary. Cult of Luna
. Fragments of Unbecoming. Fleshgore
. Wastefall. Zoroaster
. Rotting Christ. Audrey Horne
. Steve Cone. Urkraft
. Gaza. With Passion
. Terry Sullivan. Necrophobic
. Marc Sasso. Pantera
. The Prophecy. Divine Empire
. Nominon. Himsa
. Pathosray. Night Ranger
. Alkemyst. Pop Evil
. SOS. Deadsea
. Sister Sin