The Equations Of Metal Sub-Genres </p>                       
<p>Have you ever spotted a black metal band member and thought to yourself, &quot;Wow, he
is really the poster boy for that genre&quot;? So many times an entire sub-genre of metal
seems to sport the same type of look or theme. We thought it would be cool to list some
various sub-genres and show you the correct equation needed to fit into that category.
Take a look and remember to smile!</p>

<table border="0" width="100%" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="4">
  <tr>
    <td width="18%" height="19" valign="top"><ul>
      <li><strong>Avant-Garde</strong></li>
    </ul>
    </td>
    <td width="82%" height="19" valign="top">= Long Flower Dress + Large Cross Pendant + Muddy Shoes</td>
  </tr>
  <tr>
    <td width="18%" height="19" valign="top"><ul>
      <li><strong>Black Metal</strong></li>
    </ul>
    </td>
    <td width="82%" height="19" valign="top">= Illegible Logo + &quot;Lord Of The Rings&quot; Character
    Name + K.I.S.S Paint</td>
  </tr>
  <tr>
    <td width="18%" height="19" valign="top"><ul>
      <li><strong>Death Metal</strong></li>
    </ul>
    </td>
    <td width="82%" height="19" valign="top">= Long Red Hair + Laced Reebok Hightops + Sweatpants</td>
  </tr>
  <tr>
    <td width="18%" height="19" valign="top"><ul>
      <li><strong>Doom Metal</strong></li>
    </ul>
    </td>
    <td width="82%" height="19" valign="top">= Monk Robe + Afro + Large Cross Pendant</td>
  </tr>
  <tr>
    <td width="18%" height="19" valign="top"><ul>
      <li><strong>Glam Metal</strong></li>
    </ul>
    </td>
    <td width="82%" height="19" valign="top">= Spandex + Aquanet + Poofed Hair + Rehab Court Order</td>
  </tr>
  <tr>
    <td width="18%" height="19" valign="top"><ul>
      <li><strong>Gothic Metal</strong></li>
    </ul>
    </td>
    <td width="82%" height="19" valign="top">= Night-Gown Coats + 1 Female + 1 Finland Native</td>
  </tr>
  <tr>
    <td width="18%" height="19" valign="top"><ul>
      <li><strong>Grind Metal</strong></li>
    </ul>
    </td>
    <td width="82%" height="19" valign="top"> = Polo Shirt + Khaki Pants</td>
  </tr>
  <tr>
    <td width="18%" height="18" valign="top"><ul>
      <li><strong>Hard Rock</strong></li>
    </ul>
    </td>
    <td width="82%" height="18" valign="top">= Long Hair + Hairy Chest + Waxed Eyebrows + Snakeskin Guitar
    Strap + Night-Gown Coat</td>
  </tr>
  <tr>
    <td width="18%" height="19" valign="top"><ul>
      <li><strong>Japanese Metal</strong></li>
    </ul>
    </td>
    <td width="82%" height="19" valign="top">= Black Tee + Short Hair + Inaudible Verses + English Chorus'
    + Constipated Solos</td>
  </tr>
  <tr>
    <td width="18%" height="19" valign="top"><ul>
      <li><strong>Math Metal</strong></li>
    </ul>
    </td>
    <td width="82%" height="19" valign="top">= Button-Up Polo + Jeans + Horn Rimmed Glasses</td>
  </tr>
  <tr>
    <td width="18%" height="19" valign="top"><ul>
      <li><strong>Neo-Classical Metal</strong></li>
    </ul>
    </td>
    <td width="82%" height="19" valign="top">= Night-Gown Coat + Knee-High Black Boots + Bowel Movement
    Expressions</td>
  </tr>
  <tr>
    <td width="18%" height="19" valign="top"><ul>
      <li><strong>NWOBHM</strong></li>
    </ul>
    </td>
    <td width="82%" height="19" valign="top">= Bad Haircuts + Thick Accents + Bad Teeth</td>
  </tr>
  <tr>
    <td width="18%" height="19" valign="top"><ul>
      <li><strong>Power Metal</strong></li>
    </ul>
    </td>
    <td width="82%" height="19" valign="top">= Leather Jacket + Long Brushed Hair + Spandex + D&amp;D
    Reference Book</td>
  </tr>
  <tr>
    <td width="18%" height="19" valign="top"><ul>
      <li><strong>Progressive Metal</strong></li>
    </ul>
    </td>
    <td width="82%" height="19" valign="top">= Juilliard Degrees + Coiffed perms + Frilly Shirts + Sci-fi
    Themes</td>
  </tr>
  <tr>
    <td width="18%" height="19" valign="top"><ul>
      <li><strong>Sleaze Metal</strong></li>
    </ul>
    </td>
    <td width="82%" height="19" valign="top">= Air Conditioned Jeans + Cigarette + Aquanet + Rehab Resume</td>
  </tr>
  <tr>
    <td width="18%" height="19" valign="top"><ul>
      <li><strong>Speed Metal</strong></li>
    </ul>
    </td>
    <td width="82%" height="19" valign="top">= Slayer Tee + Unlaced Reebok Hightops + Body Odor + Denim
    Jacket</td>
  </tr>
  <tr>
    <td width="18%" height="19" valign="top"><ul>
      <li><strong>Stoner Metal</strong></li>
    </ul>
    </td>
    <td width="82%" height="19" valign="top">= Bellbottom Pants + Long Sideburns + Mary Jane</td>
  </tr>
  <tr>
    <td width="18%" height="19" valign="top"><ul>
      <li><strong>Symphonic Metal</strong></li>
    </ul>
    </td>
    <td width="82%" height="19" valign="top">= Night-Gown Coat + Knee-High Black Boots</td>
  </tr>
  <tr>
    <td width="18%" height="19" valign="top"><ul>
      <li><strong>Thrash Metal</strong></li>
    </ul>
    </td>
    <td width="82%" height="19" valign="top">= Long Red Hair + Unlaced Reebok Hightops + Denim Jacket With
    Bright Backpatch</td>
  </tr>
  <tr>
    <td width="18%" height="19" valign="top"><ul>
      <li><strong>Teutonic Metal</strong></li>
    </ul>
    </td>
    <td width="82%" height="19" valign="top">= Bald Head + Leather Jacket + Crotch Rocket + All V words
    pronounced as W words (Wictory!!)</td>
  </tr>
  <tr>
    <td width="18%" height="19" valign="top"><ul>
      <li><strong>Viking Metal</strong></li>
    </ul>
    </td>
    <td width="82%" height="19" valign="top">= Black Leather + Spikes + Long Red Hair + Body Odor + Rural
    Outpost</td>
  </tr>
</table>
</br>