Tales from the Jugular
Offenders of the Faith Pt. II: Queensryche
By: Jonah Haze | Published: Sep 14, 2012
Drama Queen of the Ryche Starring the Original Voice: Geoff Tate
[Other Maximum Metal Columns]
Queensryche were such a promising NWOBIAHM (New Wave of British Influenced American Heavy
Metal) band in the early eighties. Along with debut contemporaries like Anthrax and
Overkill there was some heavy lifting but respectful representation of their British
peers. But taking hold of the flame seemed to burn the hands of those interested in
business not ideals.
Self-titled, the band's 1983 EP debut was the dark and heavy Priest/Maiden influence that
that threw the squirrels nut into the branches of the American metal genre. Thrash bands
could respect them & hair bands were scared out of their spandex. They were the first
wave of the Seattle threat to bummer the summers of the Sunset Strip Fourthward into 1988,
"Operation Mindcrime" mesmerized enough of their core to start building an
empire around it. That was the concept at least. This was their gift from the gods. Their
power produced their proudest piece of the pie. Then...
In 1990, the group gave up the gold in search for the silver by releasing their fifth cd,
"Empire". Gone was the power and glory and entered a socialists dream of
anti-God, guns and government storytelling that would eventually applaud Dave Matthews for
shitting into the Chicago river. Queensryche's "Empire" was Metallica's
"Black Album." The revised text of art was replaced by commercialism. Both were
very successful being nurtured all the way from MT(error)Vision and even Casey Kasem.
Queensryche should have been pronounced dead on the arrival of "Empire" hitting
the shelves. And as with every Empire, history will tear it down.
The following two "WTF" outputs weren't enough to keep Chris Degarmo's input.
His departure was the official time of death.
Along with Metallica and a few others I have awarded Queensryche as official
"Offenders of the Faith." These poor "legends" strayed from the path
of righteousness at a critical point of the rebirth of American metal.
Geoff revealed his new "Super Star" line up recently which includes:
Bobby Blotzer (Ratt) on drums
Rudy Sarzo (Quiet Riot, O$$y, Whitesnake, Dio) on bass
Kelly Gray (original replacement for Degarmo) on guitars
Glen Drover (Megadeth) on guitars
Randy Gane on keys
Queensryche have announced vocalist Todd LaTorre (Crimson Glory) as the new lead with the
rest of the band remaining in tact.
PLEASE don't get me started on Gee-Off's choices from the Island of Misfit musicians. We
will see how all this "plays" out. Donuts to dollars Blotzer is the first one
out due to lack of communication. Every day they are clogging the press lines by stuffing
their self importance right down the medias' throats. This is like a presidential
election. But they aren't slinging mud.
Finally all of the best worst bands in one: REM, Steely Dan, Pearl Jam, U2, Dave Matthews,
Prince, Matchbox 20 and Bruce Springsteen with a touch of alternative adult contemporary.
Geoff you are living proof that your music isn't hair raising anymore.
Della Brown turned white when she heard the last cd.
An empty paper clip is heavier metal.
Bald, goatee & black leather: He's the gay Rob Halford. Rob's not offended by my joke
but he is offended by Geoff trying to be gay.
Factoid: In 1998 Geoff wanted to get into Journey but Neal Schon was too much of a tight
Take hold of the flamer.
... Is there anybody listening? Is there anybody reading?
Geoff's biggest solo hit will be the ground.
Geoff Tate's Queensryche is like Jani Lane's Great White. oooh... too soon?
Wish the first album woulda been called "Warning."
You used to rage for order and now you are dedicated to chaos. That is fates warning!
"Geoff Tate's Global Warning Tour" would actually be a cool title.
Geoff Tate spits on more audiences than Fred Willard.
The French are already calling for a reunion. They love taking spit baths.
Talk about using a "spit tune."
Originally Michael Schenker was scheduled as a guest to hit Michael Wilton but he is too
busy still trying to write one.
Metallica..."Empire" was Queensryche's "Black Album."
Black man still trapped again.
Queensryche should have done an album with the Beach Boys and called it "Hulu."
They also should have done an album with Louie Armstrong and called it "Zulu."
Geoff and Lars should step outside and exchange blows to see who is the bigger dick.
This guy has walked off more stages than an alcoholic.
We'll always have our "Last Tango in Paris."
If I wanted to get spit on, punched, demeaned, threatened and abandoned I'd go back to
work for my pimp.
Queensryche fucks you out of the show. A
ex-girlfriend fucks the show out of you. lol jokin hun! Miss U lol Just listen to the
doctors and sleep now, sleep... that 'a gurl!
At least O$$Y kills his guitar players.
Geoff got his feathers in a fluff and he already looks like a bald eagle. I say this guy's
for the birds.
Mr. Tate! How do you really spell your first name? C'mon! Spit it out!
I just got an e-mail from David Coverdale's attorney. He served me with a cease and desist
using the song title "Spit it Out", under any circumstances, especially in
relation to a joke about Geoff Tate, since Geoff is the joke.
Shit, now a new email direct from Robert Plant. Apparently he owns the copyrights to every
joke about Coverdale. So I've gotta listen to both these assholes cry now. I have no idea
how these guys knew I was writing this joke right now and how they got my email address.
But this is still going to print, snapperheads!
20 years of blood money: Vempire!
The lady still wears black. It will stay in season longer than he will.
Jimmie Jones served a better punch.
Would the term "Taters" apply to his younger crowd? Or to his haters?
Geoff is like a bitter baseball player who always wanted to play for the other team.
Varnished band to tarnished brand? See my reviews on Metallica and Van Halen.
He is a great soap opera singer.
A professional "wine maker?" More like a professional whiner.
I'm sick of this soap Oprah.
This may be Geoff Tate's fault, but its Queensryche's responsibility to make it right.
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