C O L U M N S

Tales from the Jugular

Whooya Talkin' 'Bout 1

By: Eric Compton
Published: Wednesday, April 4, 2007
This actually going to be my first entry of "Whooya Talkin' 'Bout". What am I talkin' 'bout and what is "Whooya Talkin' 'Bout"? Its simple really. I'm playing a little game of who said that. Over the years I've always enjoyed reading the liner notes and band musings inside record releases. You can really read some over the top craziness when browsing through the thank yous and the f@@@ yous of a liner note. So I thought it would be a fantastic idea to put those in a question format and allow our beloved readers to ponder who or what band said these outrageous quotes. Next issue we will answer the questions, name the pottymouth, and give you a few more explicits to look over.

Note - Anyone remotely disturbed by late night Showtime, Comedy Central, or Frank Hill's rants and raves after being rejected by yet another bimbo....well simply look no further.

1. "And to Dave Richards of Azra, for blatantly lying to us, not using our cover artwork and insert, running up our lawyer bill and jerking us around for seven months with our EP, may you get butt-fucked by a rhino with AIDS."

2. "Die painful and burn in Hell to" S. Logiodice/W. Schunke/Axel Morgan/K. Boesel, a real big bunch of motherfucking assholes".

3. "Fuck you to Biff Byford and his Pong."

4. "Special thanx to Barney for capturing the hearts of the children."

5. "...thanks goes to God, for giving to me this eternal hate against his concept and against his worshipers."

6. Hello Dudes: "......Eternity-X (R.I.P...Fuck me, Jamie, fuck me - the last edgay colon cowboy)".

7. "Joey Capobianco sucks fat dicks"

8. "And let me swing the big fucking sledgehammer through the skulls of all stoner rock faggots, gothic queers, black metal dorks, teeny bopper pussies, rapper jackasses, and most of all you cheesy heavy metal trendies!"

9. "...and most importantly to all of the bands who made millions from pirating our work, our creativity and our artistry while we were in Japan, we say shame on you and prepare to be embarrassed and humbled by the mighty ______!!!"

10. "...Tom, "if it wasn't for me there'd be no band, you wouldn't have a girlfriend, my cap, I got a cat, a dog, a bat, a rat, and a knife, I'll kill you, Kiss rules, Moooo Hoohoohahaha" Browne.



[Other Maximum Metal Columns]

<< back >>





RANDOM ACTS OF METAL
. Anvil. Hate Eternal
. In Flames. Nightwish
. Opeth. Grave
. Twilight Odyssey. Big Dumb Face
. Karaboudjan. Misery Index
. Grave Digger. Symphorce
. Machine Head. Norma Jean
. Celestial Ode. Solace
. Overkill. Nazareth
. Mark Boals. Steel Attack
. Late Nite Romeo. Led Zeppelin
. Johnny Lokke. Circle of Nero
. Endless Time. Biomechanical
. Steel Preacher. Beautiful Creatures
. Savatage. Vhaldemar
. Hypocrisy. Wicked Sensation
. Probot. Asperity
. Tesla. Soil
. TNA. Silver Mountain
. Devil To Pay. Jorn
. Judas Priest. Joe Lynn Turner
. Joey Belladonna. Saxon
. Dio. Division
. House of Shakira. Six Feet Under
. Arch Enemy. Incantation
. The Last Act. Ironhorse
. Overlorde. Seventh One
. Karmakanic. Twisted Sister
. Napalm Death. Sonata Arctica
. Azrael's Bane. Fifth Cross
. Loudblast. Hibria
. Mechanical Poet. Car Bomb
. Icarus Witch. Chuck Schuldiner
. Wolverine. Diecast
. Antares. Marduk
. Chaoswave. God Fear None
. Boomerang. Derek Sherinian
. Bleed The Sky. Omegalord
. Kinrick. Ramesses
. Raintime. Babylon
. Throes of Dawn. Nightrage
. Mirador. Graveworm
. Naglfar. God Among Insects
. Goddess Of Desire. Evemaster
. Dam. Power Quest
. Fates Warning. Havochate
. Holy Blood. Octavia Sperati
. Mercyful Fate. Black Majesty
. Eternal Reign. Russell Allen
. Violent Storm. Barcode
. Avenged Sevenfold. Dreamland
. Infliction. Sinocence
. The Tenth Circle. Vanquished
. Enforsaken. End My Sorrow
. Mental Care Foundation. Second Shadow
. Naked Beggars. Daylight Dies
. Silver Dirt. Bal-Sagoth
. Candlemass. Dream Or Nightmare
. Nicodemus. Stormcrow
. The Furor. Jotunspor
. Unsilent Phenomenon. Bloodbound
. Azure. Destruction
. Paul Bonrud. Setherial
. The Finals. Eyes of Ligeia
. Lupara. E-lane
. Darkness Eternal. Starkweather
. Celtic Frost. Lecherous Nocturne
. Twisted Into Form. The Gathering
. Stonegard. Diagnose: Lebensgefahr
. Threat Signal. Battered
. Warbringer. Necrophobic
. Grenouer. Incrave
. Mithras. Tears
. Aborted. Keep of Kalessin
. I Shalt Become. Ride The Sky
. Jesus Martyr. Aetherius Obscuritas
. Embalming Theatre. Intolerant
. Uriah Heep. End of Man
. UFOmammut. Faded Hope
. Nasty Idols. Crown The Lost
. Caliban. DC4
. Uli Jon Roth. Giant Squid
. Suspyre