C O L U M N S

Tales from the Jugular

Whooya Talkin' 'Bout 1

By: Eric Compton
Published: Wednesday, April 4, 2007
This actually going to be my first entry of "Whooya Talkin' 'Bout". What am I talkin' 'bout and what is "Whooya Talkin' 'Bout"? Its simple really. I'm playing a little game of who said that. Over the years I've always enjoyed reading the liner notes and band musings inside record releases. You can really read some over the top craziness when browsing through the thank yous and the f@@@ yous of a liner note. So I thought it would be a fantastic idea to put those in a question format and allow our beloved readers to ponder who or what band said these outrageous quotes. Next issue we will answer the questions, name the pottymouth, and give you a few more explicits to look over.

Note - Anyone remotely disturbed by late night Showtime, Comedy Central, or Frank Hill's rants and raves after being rejected by yet another bimbo....well simply look no further.

1. "And to Dave Richards of Azra, for blatantly lying to us, not using our cover artwork and insert, running up our lawyer bill and jerking us around for seven months with our EP, may you get butt-fucked by a rhino with AIDS."

2. "Die painful and burn in Hell to" S. Logiodice/W. Schunke/Axel Morgan/K. Boesel, a real big bunch of motherfucking assholes".

3. "Fuck you to Biff Byford and his Pong."

4. "Special thanx to Barney for capturing the hearts of the children."

5. "...thanks goes to God, for giving to me this eternal hate against his concept and against his worshipers."

6. Hello Dudes: "......Eternity-X (R.I.P...Fuck me, Jamie, fuck me - the last edgay colon cowboy)".

7. "Joey Capobianco sucks fat dicks"

8. "And let me swing the big fucking sledgehammer through the skulls of all stoner rock faggots, gothic queers, black metal dorks, teeny bopper pussies, rapper jackasses, and most of all you cheesy heavy metal trendies!"

9. "...and most importantly to all of the bands who made millions from pirating our work, our creativity and our artistry while we were in Japan, we say shame on you and prepare to be embarrassed and humbled by the mighty ______!!!"

10. "...Tom, "if it wasn't for me there'd be no band, you wouldn't have a girlfriend, my cap, I got a cat, a dog, a bat, a rat, and a knife, I'll kill you, Kiss rules, Moooo Hoohoohahaha" Browne.



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RANDOM ACTS OF METAL
. Bathory. Into Eternity
. Big Dumb Face. BloodDuster
. Poisonblack. Deceased
. Impellitteri. Deranged
. Commit Suicide. Celestial Ode
. Godsmack. Queensryche
. Ravage. Masterplan
. God Dethroned. Brainstorm
. Godiva. Thunderbolt
. Wycked Synn. Runemagick
. Mourning Beloveth. Assrockers
. Rob Rock. Sludge!
. Duke. Eidolon
. Halloween. Hypocrisy
. Pharaoh. Wicked Sensation
. Brides of Destruction. Fear Factory
. Soil. Death Angel
. Yngwie Malmsteen. Killik
. Bang The Union. Cans
. Marillion. Black Zodiac
. Devil In The Kitchen. Joe Lynn Turner
. Metal Church. Unearth
. Division. Annihilator
. The Project Hate. Arch Enemy
. Negative Creeps. Mirror of Deception
. Made of Iron. The 7 Method
. Avenue F. Betrayer
. Dark Tranquillity. Fifth Cross
. Crowbar. Cradle To Grave
. Helgrind. Blood Red Throne
. Heartcry. Carina Alfie
. Apocalyptica. Darkthrone
. Marduk. Boomerang
. Axel Rudi Pell. Kryoburn
. Kinrick. Ignitor
. Gizmachi. Green Carnation
. Sothis. Graveworm
. Subterranean Masquerade. Secrets She Kept
. Nuse. Horna
. Gaia. The Father Panic Riot Orchestra
. Edenbridge. Future is Tomorrow
. Orphaned Land. Dragonia
. Monster Magnet. Casus Belli
. Thrones. Doomfoxx
. Midnight Idols. The Tenth Circle
. Hate. From This Day
. Sodom. Thryfing
. Katatonia. Tandjent
. 286. Nightmare
. Event Horizon. Leviathan/Sapthuran
. The Ocean. Vore
. Manngard. Ampast
. Vreid. Imagika
. Cavalar. Speed/Kill/Hate
. Abysmal Dawn. Swashbuckle
. Dendura. Sahg
. Hurt. Setherial
. Oblomov. Thy Majestie
. Rotting Christ. Sathanas
. Starkweather. Gaza
. The Gathering. Diagnose: Lebensgefahr
. Omnium Gatherum. Warbringer
. Manticore. Mindgrinder
. The Chronicles of Israfel. Dezperadoz
. Cruachan. Blood of the Black Owl
. Incrave. Five Finger Death Punch
. Gotthard. Spit Like This
. Nominon. Transmission 0
. Fight. Architect
. Cauldron. Heresi
. Pathology. Averse Sefira
. Orthodox. Gutted With Broken Glass
. Demonic Symphony. Pop Evil
. Last Stone Cast. Intolerant
. Uriah Heep. UFOmammut
. Battleroar. Mustasch
. Sister Sin