Navigate: main >> columns >> tales
C O L U M N S

Tales from the Jugular

Whooya Talkin' 'Bout 1

By: Eric Compton
Published: Wednesday, April 4, 2007
This actually going to be my first entry of "Whooya Talkin' 'Bout". What am I talkin' 'bout and what is "Whooya Talkin' 'Bout"? Its simple really. I'm playing a little game of who said that. Over the years I've always enjoyed reading the liner notes and band musings inside record releases. You can really read some over the top craziness when browsing through the thank yous and the f@@@ yous of a liner note. So I thought it would be a fantastic idea to put those in a question format and allow our beloved readers to ponder who or what band said these outrageous quotes. Next issue we will answer the questions, name the pottymouth, and give you a few more explicits to look over.

Note - Anyone remotely disturbed by late night Showtime, Comedy Central, or Frank Hill's rants and raves after being rejected by yet another bimbo....well simply look no further.

1. "And to Dave Richards of Azra, for blatantly lying to us, not using our cover artwork and insert, running up our lawyer bill and jerking us around for seven months with our EP, may you get butt-fucked by a rhino with AIDS."

2. "Die painful and burn in Hell to" S. Logiodice/W. Schunke/Axel Morgan/K. Boesel, a real big bunch of motherfucking assholes".

3. "Fuck you to Biff Byford and his Pong."

4. "Special thanx to Barney for capturing the hearts of the children."

5. "...thanks goes to God, for giving to me this eternal hate against his concept and against his worshipers."

6. Hello Dudes: "......Eternity-X (R.I.P...Fuck me, Jamie, fuck me - the last edgay colon cowboy)".

7. "Joey Capobianco sucks fat dicks"

8. "And let me swing the big fucking sledgehammer through the skulls of all stoner rock faggots, gothic queers, black metal dorks, teeny bopper pussies, rapper jackasses, and most of all you cheesy heavy metal trendies!"

9. "...and most importantly to all of the bands who made millions from pirating our work, our creativity and our artistry while we were in Japan, we say shame on you and prepare to be embarrassed and humbled by the mighty ______!!!"

10. "...Tom, "if it wasn't for me there'd be no band, you wouldn't have a girlfriend, my cap, I got a cat, a dog, a bat, a rat, and a knife, I'll kill you, Kiss rules, Moooo Hoohoohahaha" Browne.



[Other Maximum Metal Columns]

<< back >>





RANDOM ACTS OF METAL
. Lost Horizon. Slipknot
. Steel Prophet. Grave
. Regurgitate. Twelfth Gate
. Gun Barrel. Circle II Circle
. Mark Boals. Fozzy
. Metallica. Hammerwhore
. Goat Horn. Ion Vein
. Endless Time. Biomechanical
. Artension. Morbid Angel
. Runemagick. Nordheim
. Tad Morose. Windseeker
. Attacker. Project: Failing Flesh
. Dew Scented. Royal Anguish
. Superchrist. Cryonic Temple
. Deep Purple. Amityville Whore
. Judas Priest. Spiral Madness
. Fireaxe. Unleashed
. Black Destiny. Polterchrist
. Behemoth. Cryme
. Mercenary. Legion
. Scenteria. Motley Crue
. Gods Of Fire. Ligeia
. Lost Soul. Maze Of Torment
. Korpiklaani. Astral Doors
. Tarot. Desire Black
. Argument Soul. Marduk
. Omegalord. Magica
. Swallow The Sun. Gizmachi
. Throes of Dawn. Unshine
. Slik Helvetika. Prowler Inc.
. Gemini 5. Ritual Killer
. Dam. The Father Panic Riot Orchestra
. Power Quest. Havochate
. Flotsam & Jetsam. The Scourger
. Painmuseum. Pagan's Mind
. Before The Dawn. Bolt Thrower
. Casus Belli. The Firstborn
. Thrones. Spellbound
. Mastermind. Celebratum
. Sinocence. Dogs Of Winter
. Decapitated. Sodom
. Sepultura. Nightmare
. Leviathan/Sapthuran. Manngard
. Pyramaze. Bal-Sagoth
. Abysmal Dawn. Before Silence
. Jotunspor. Azure
. She Said Destroy. Fleshgore
. Mouth of the Architect. Woodtemple
. Urkraft. Twisted Into Form
. Blood Tsunami. Terry Sullivan
. Grenouer. Incrave
. Cattle Decapitation. Mendeed
. Chrome Division. Spit Like This
. Denial Fiend. Blut Aus Nord
. Malevolent Creation. The Wonderfools
. Fight. Architect
. Temple Of Blood. Echoes of Eternity
. Alkemyst. Glenn Hughes
. Bilocate. Mortiis
. Demonic Symphony. To-Mera
. Virgin Black. Cursed
. Luna Mortis. Eighteen Wheels Burning
. Caliban. Giant Squid