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Intronaut - Null - 2006 - Goodfellow Records

Track Listing
1. Intro
2. Sores Will Weep
3. Fragments of Character
4. They (As in Them)
5. Burning These Days

“Null” is the first release, and EP, from technical hardcore/jazz/fusion/noise/bullshitcore Intronaut. Aside from a short intro track, it consists of four horrible, horrible songs. That was pretty blunt, wasn’t it? Aside from what I like to call the “Ritual Killer fiasco,” I have never thoroughly loathed any material I have received for review here at Maximum Metal. Until now. Bands from this “bullshitcore” scene (I had to make up a name for all of the retarded things that some musicians get up to these days) think that by playing offbeat riffs in totally random order, throwing in a guy playing the drums out of time, and some “br00tal” screams, they’ve got a good thing going. Sadly, for them and for us, they are very, very wrong indeed.

“Sores Will Weep” is simply a cacophony of noise for the sake of noise, something that anyone with half a brain won’t be able to stand. About halfway through, it slows down and attempts to take on a melodious beat. Thus, we are forced to deal with a pathetic attempt at being calming and artsy. The end result is a slow, sad death to what is probably the worst song ever written in mankind’s history. Congratulations, Intronaut, you’ve knocked Cher off her pedestal. To analyze the other three songs on the album will probably give me a brain hemorrhage, since I’ll be forcing myself to do something so horrible and painful. I honestly don’t think my body can cope. Instead of properly finishing this review, or giving you, the reader, some sort of “advice” as to whether or not I recommend this album, I will leave you with this: Never before have I wanted to personally strangle each and every member of a band for making a record so awful until now.

.5/10 (I’m giving them half a point because whoever drew the cover art did a decent job)

--Veritas 04.11.06
Maximum Metal Rating Legend - Click for Full Details
5 Excellent - Buy it and say a prayer to the metal gods that you were tuned on to this masterpiece. A classic.
4-4.5 Great - Almost perfect records but there's probably a clunker or a lacking somewhere to keep it from perfection. You won't feel bad about dropping some bones on these.
3.5 Good - Most of the record is good, but there may be some filler. This is the OK range where you'd search for the record on sale or used.
3 Average - Some good songs, some bad ones at about a half/half ratio. Could show skills but be dull overall. Redeeming qualities for indy bands are effort and passion. Majors that don't try or suck outright end up here.
2-2.5 Fair - Worth a listen, but best obtained by collectors. There is much better metal out there.
1-1.5 Bad - Major problems with music, lyrics, production, etc.
0 Terrible or an otherwise waste of your life and time.

Note: Reviews are graded from 0-5, anything higher or not showing is from our old style. Scores, however, do not reveal the important features. The written review that accompanies the ratings is the best source of information regarding the music on our site. Reviewing is opinionated, not a qualitative science, so scores are personal to the reviewer and could reflect anything from being technically brilliant to gloriously cheesy fun.

Demos and independent releases get some slack since the bands are often spent broke supporting themselves and trying to improve. Major releases usually have big financial backing, so they may be judged by a heavier hand. All scores can be eventually adjusted up or down by comparison of subsequent releases by the same band. We attempt to keep biases out of reviews and be advocates of the consumer without the undo influence of any band, label, management, promoter, etc.

The best way to determine how much you may like certain music is to listen to it yourself.



ALL FULL REVIEWS FOR: INTRONAUT
CD
TITLE BAND
DOR
REVIEWER DATE
NullIntronaut
2006
Veritas4/20/2006
The ChallengerIntronaut
2007
Etiam11/7/2008
VoidIntronaut
2006
Etiam2/23/2007


ALL SUMMARY REVIEWS FOR: INTRONAUT

No Summary reviews currently exist for them.


ALL INTERVIEWS FOR: INTRONAUT
INTERVIEW BAND INTERVIEWER DATE


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