F U L L . R E V I E W S


The Graveyard Boulevard - Toe Tags and Body Bags - 2003 - Reviewed by Nailer

Judging by the CD insert with its pics of everybody in homemade Halloween getup, I thought that The Graveyard Boulevard was going to be some kind of Midwest Black Metal with too much seriousness and too small a budget.

TGB is basically the remaining/original members of "The Frankenstein Drag Queens from Planet 13" (Sicko-Zero, Seaweed, Abby-Normal and Professor Sluggs) after the singer left to form the Murderdolls with the drummer from Slipknot. I was surprised to hear that TGB has a nice laid-back punk sound that dishes the silly spooks out steadily instead of in mass quantities to shock and awe like the look-at-me theatrics of Alice Cooper and Marylin Manson or the over-the-top gorey goofiness of GWAR.

I'd imagine these guys would spike your party punch with poison and sell the antidote at the front door to make enough money for another kegger and a DVD copy of "The Lost Boys" rather than delight over the gagging carnage. Either that or they'd just pee in the punchbowl.

Thankfully, the don't sound like pop-punk bands like Sum 41 and Blink 182 and at times they do venture into Ramones territory. TGB, maybe you could call it "horror-punk", could use a little more meat to chew on but its a tongue-in-cheek stew full of plastic eyeballs and rubber fingers that's fairly easy to swallow.

I bet their live show is a whole mess of fun.

Best Songs: That's My Mom, Dear Dead Delilah, Circus Horrificus, Terror T.V.



--Nailer 10.31.03
About this Writer:
Frank Hill // Frank Hill has been at this site since its slimy, crying birth in '03. He was born on National Metal Day--11/11 and will turn his hearing aids up to 11 when he's 111. He secretly listens to a lot of old Country and Doo-Wop tunes and wants to start a cyberband with lead vocals by Robot Plant. He is still trying to figure out what Judas Priest meant by "paratamize you". If you read this, then he salutes you.

Maximum Metal Rating Legend - Click for Full Details
5 Excellent - Buy it and say a prayer to the metal gods that you were tuned on to this masterpiece. A classic.
4-4.5 Great - Almost perfect records but there's probably a clunker or a lacking somewhere to keep it from perfection. You won't feel bad about dropping some bones on these.
3.5 Good - Most of the record is good, but there may be some filler. This is the OK range where you'd search for the record on sale or used.
3 Average - Some good songs, some bad ones at about a half/half ratio. Could show skills but be dull overall. Redeeming qualities for indy bands are effort and passion. Majors that don't try or suck outright end up here.
2-2.5 Fair - Worth a listen, but best obtained by collectors. There is much better metal out there.
1-1.5 Bad - Major problems with music, lyrics, production, etc.
0 Terrible or an otherwise waste of your life and time.

Note: Reviews are graded from 0-5, anything higher or not showing is from our old style. Scores, however, do not reveal the important features. The written review that accompanies the ratings is the best source of information regarding the music on our site. Reviewing is opinionated, not a qualitative science, so scores are personal to the reviewer and could reflect anything from being technically brilliant to gloriously cheesy fun.

Demos and independent releases get some slack since the bands are often spent broke supporting themselves and trying to improve. Major releases usually have big financial backing, so they may be judged by a heavier hand. All scores can be eventually adjusted up or down by comparison of subsequent releases by the same band. We attempt to keep biases out of reviews and be advocates of the consumer without the undo influence of any band, label, management, promoter, etc.

The best way to determine how much you may like certain music is to listen to it yourself.



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REVIEWER DATE
Toe Tags and Body BagsThe Graveyard Boulevard
2003
Frank Hill10/31/2003


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