Maximum Metal Rating Legend

Desire Black - Last Call for Decadence - 2005 - Excalibur Records

Track Listing 1. "Intro (My Way is Better)" 2. "You're in Control" 3. "Bleed My Lips" 4. "Puke Til You Vomit" 5. "Slam (Motherfucker Slam)" 6. "I'm Free" 7. "Like" 8. "Welcome Ring" 9. "Irish Eyes" 10. "Dying"

Wow. I don't even know where to begin. I've heard terrible bands. I've heard complete musical train wrecks. This is by far the worst "signed" band I have ever heard. Oh wait! The sole member of Desire Black is also the sole proprietor of Excalibur Records, who just happened to release "Last Call for Decadence"! Holy shit, what a coincidence.

Musically, wait…this isn't music. I'm guessing it's supposed to be some raw, punked up hard rock/glam metal type crap but it just doesn't make it. This is complete musical incompetence. Jimmy Matheos, Desire Black's lone guitarist/bassist/drummer/vocalist has trouble making it through a single guitar riff, which is sad due to the simplistic nature of every riff. The guitar sound is completely atrocious. The guitars sound like they we recorded through some 10-watt yard-sale special amp/cabinet combo. A guitar solo is attempted in "I'm Free", but it doesn't fit nor does it even remotely follow the rhythm so naturally it collapses. The drum work, damn. Let's just say that most of the time Matheos and additonal drummer Eddie fail to even hold a steady beat. Missed beats abound and I don't think I heard a single cymbal other than the hi-hat in any song (with the exception of "Bleed My Lips") on the entire CD. I'd comment on the bass, but unfortunately I never heard it. Imagine a tone-deaf guy at the local bar on karaoke night trying to turn the new Green Day single into a cock-rock song and you'll have an idea of what the vocals sound like. The lyrics and song titles are easily the most (un) amazing part of this opus. Song titles like "Puke Til You Vomit" and "Slam (Motherfucker Slam)" combined with lyrics like "Jesus rides a motorcycle, Satan rides a Mercedes Benz. Both of them are me, and neither one of them's your friend" help to affirm the fact that this record is complete and utter crap. How the Hell can you "puke 'til you vomit" anyway? Aren't puking and vomiting the same thing? Jesus Christ.

I'm sorry, but I just can't take this seriously. Maybe it's a joke and it's totally going over my head. Somehow, unfortunately, I don't think it is. Avoid this like the plague. I think it's safe to say you need to head back to the drawing board, Mr. Matheos.


-Kazimeirez 03/30/05