Maximum Metal Rating Legend

Yes boys and girls, the master of shock rock has returned to reclaim his throne. Along with a revamped sound and even a rapper, Alice Cooper has released his 16th full length album. For those who do not know, Alice has been credited for writing some of the greatest rock songs, such as “School’s Out”, “I’m Eighteen”, “Brutal Planet”, along with many more. With every album comes a change in his style of music. Some have obviously worked for him. However, to say that this one did would be the joke of the century.

I always thought diamonds were jewels, well, this title does not fit. The cover art is bland but hey, it’s Alice, who is not known for his elaborate covers. “Woman Of Mass Distraction” is a groove happy throwback from the seventies. Do not mistake me, I love the classics; however, if you are gonna change things up, remaking past successes is not the answer. Then, with tracks that simply show the non-creativeness and are included to fill space, such as “Perfect”, “The Saga of Jesse Jane” (extremely homophobic), actually, 9 out of 13 tracks. All is not lost though. Just play the title track and “Run Down The Devil”. Decent tracks, but still not spectacular, they aren’t enough to stop this runaway train. "Sunset Babies", I truly have nothing to say except, a root canal would be more enjoyable. Rap and hard rock on “Stand”, did he really expect that to work?

Imagine “Love It to Death” (1971), dubbed over and polished up with a nice little pink bow on it. Add Xzibit (Rapper) to the mix and we have a recipe for disaster, or “Dirty Diamonds” as it is named. I am in no way saying that production killed this album, after all, “Brutal Planet” (2000) was polished, but an excellent album. If one needs to add this to a collection to keep it complete, get it. But do not expect this album to be a memorable one. Hell, I would like to forget that I even heard it.

In researching this, I read reviews saying this was his greatest release. My question is, what career have they been following? Even his band has lost their step. Other reviews I have read are very critical of this record, as well they should be. This is my opinion it is not gospel, but for me, I wouldn’t even line my catbox with the liner notes.